Staying Together When an Affair Pulls You Apart
Affairs happen, and when a marriage is threatened by infidelity, all parties involved can become desperate. The air gets pretty thin, and our ability to look past our immediate needs is compromised. We're tempted to look out only for ourselves, and the marital relationship is left hanging on for dear life.
How did we get here? Where do we go from here? Can this relationship survive?
Steve Judah explores the phenomenon of infidelity, considering both the push of marital discord and the pull of sexual temptation. With clear and helpful analysis of the relational science behind infidelity, he delivers a tested way back toward a meaningful marriage.
Your marriage can survive and even thrive after infidelity has been confronted. This book provides a savvy, practical and hopeful guide for couples to navigate this turbulent terrain and find their way back to one another.
"This book reflects a deep understanding of the anatomy of affairs and how to survive them. Judah is a good writer, detailed and clear. Clinicians will find much to assist them in working with couples, and sophisticated readers will find excellent guidance in repairing their relationship."
"This wonderful book provides hope--the most important ingredient for recovery after infidelity. The hope rests on five essential disciplines: practical, step-by-step guidelines that help couples navigate the broken terrain and rebuild trust. I highly recommend it."
"Dr. Judah's experience and training reveal the need for high character to inform our marriages when infidelity breaches have occurred. This book can and will help those who desire to reconcile with their spouse and be restored to their family."
"Stephen M. Judah could have become a distinguished research scholar and settled down in the academy as a teacher. Instead, he writes as a lieutenant wrestling in the frontlines of marriages coming unglued. His persistent, careful observation of human experience and his dedication to establish a model of triage for the wounded have given him visible wisdom and an authority unlike anyone I know who writes on healing for broken relationships. Look no further: this is the premier treatment of 'the affair,' and all of us will find ways to incorporate the wisdom the author offers."
Judah offers very practical advice in bringing healing and reconciliation to everyone involved, including the third party in the affair.
In Staying Together, Stephen M. Judah provides very helpful information about what kind of affairs exist, what causes affairs, and how affairs affect the offending party. The major contribution of this book is found in the author?s practical steps he offers couples who seek to reunite after experience infidelity.
Part One: Know the Terrain
1. Contours of Affairs: Attitudes, Frequency and Social Impact
2. Types of Affairs
3. Causes of Affairs
Part Two: Ascent into Brokenness
4. Growing Up
5. Romatic Love
6. Civil War
7. The Evolution of Affair Conditions
8. The Active Affair
Ascent into Brokenness Summary
Part Three: Descent into Wholeness
9. The Revelation: Sharing the Truth with Your Spouse
10. The Crisis: Reconciling with Your Spouse
11. Realignment: Redefining Your Character
12. Rebuilding: Cultivating the Positive
13. Flourishing: Creating the Possible
Epilogue: The Scientific and the Spiritual
Appendix 1: Other Paths
Appendix 2: Phases, Key Steps and Essential Disciplines--A Review