An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel, By Laurie Krieg and Matt Krieg

An Impossible Marriage

What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel

by Laurie Krieg and Matt Krieg

An Impossible Marriage
  • Length: 224 pages
  • Dimensions: 5.5 × 8.5 in
  • Published: October 27, 2020
  • Imprint: IVP
  • Item Code: 4793
  • ISBN: 9780830847938

*affiliate partner

"People say our marriage is impossible."

Laurie and Matt Krieg are in a mixed-orientation marriage: a marriage in which at least one partner's primary attraction isn't toward the gender of their spouse. In the Kriegs' case, Laurie is primarily attracted to women—and so is Matt.

Some find the idea of mixed-orientation marriage bewildering or even offensive. But as the Kriegs have learned, nothing is impossible with God—and that's as true of their marriage as anyone else's. In An Impossible Marriage, the Kriegs tell their story: how they met and got married, the challenges and breakthroughs of their journey, and what they've learned about marriage along the way. Christianity teaches us that marriage is a picture of Jesus’ love for the church—and that's just as true in a mixed-orientation marriage as in a straight one.

With vulnerability and wisdom, this book lays out an engaging picture of marriage in all its pain and beauty. It's a picture that points us, over and over again, to the love and grace of Jesus—as marriage was always meant to do.

"An Impossible Marriage is a book not just for marriages that seem impossible but for any marriage, especially between Christians. Through their own story, Matt and Laurie graciously put before the reader the purpose of marriage—the great mystery and seeming impossibility of Christ being made one with his church."

Matt Chandler, author, pastor, and president of Acts 29 Network, and Lauren Chandler, author, speaker, and singer/songwriter

"Sometimes, what seems impossible becomes surprisingly possible—if someone just shows you how to turn and see everything from a completely different perspective. Let Laurie and Matt Krieg be your trusted guides, turn these unforgettable pages—and find yourself turning to see everything in a fresh way—turning to see the face of God. Who, right before your eyes, can make the impossible into a glorious possible."

Ann Voskamp, author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts

"A courageous, bold, and vulnerable story showing the lengths God will go to for us to experience true love and intimacy."

Gabe Lyons, president of Q Ideas and author of Good Faith

"Every time I hang out with Laurie and Matt, I see Jesus on the throne of their marriage. Not because they have that gooey, mushy, always-in-love-and-never-a-fight marriage. They don't. (And who does?) Instead, their marriage radiates meaning, depth, authenticity, genuine joy, and a cross-shaped shadow that points to the real meaning of marriage—Christ's unyielding love for his people. Laurie and Matt's marriage shows off the gospel in all its truth and grace, which is why I'm so excited they decided to write this book. Anyone who is married or considering getting married needs to read An Impossible Marriage."

Preston Sprinkle, the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender

"I love Matt and Laurie's journey. But more than loving their journey, I love Matt and Laurie. Period. An Impossible Marriage is an inestimable gift to the body of Jesus in this season. It is theologically poignant, emotionally authentic, intellectually honest, spiritually freeing, and mission-ally critical. It has gospel bite and rawness. It's sassy and tender and strong and bold. Their adventurous journey slows down just enough to invite us all in, and it speeds up just enough to keep us all from becoming emotionally and spiritually complacent. On their walk to Emmaus, the risen Christ meets and walks with them in the darkness of their despondency and confusion, listens to their dashed hopes and overflowing frustrations, and gently nudges them—and I dare say us—toward gospel hope and redemptive joy. They yield again and again. Their journey is a seesaw of lament and joy, Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. The living God is giving Matt and Laurie what to desire—him. I realized midway through that An Impossible Marriage is as much about my own yielding to Christ and my own oneness with God and my wife as it is about Matt and Laurie's. Like Matt and Laurie, may we all surrender to God and want what he wants."

Marvin Williams, lead pastor, Trinity Church, devotional writer, Our Daily Bread

"With An Impossible Marriage, Laurie and Matt Krieg have offered us a living, redemptive sacrifice—a story of durable hard work, and a story of beauty, goodness, and joy that emerges out of trauma, and shame and grief as all the best stories do. In a world of diminished, atrophied imagination, our authors invite us to risk our hearts, re-imagining not merely marriage but all of life as it can be in this present age and as it will be in the age to come. Read this book, practice what you read, and become the love of our triune God."

Curt Thompson, author of The Soul of Shame and Anatomy of the Soul

"An Impossible Marriage reminded me of my longing to hear from Jesus in every aspect of my life, not only my marriage. Honestly written with a bent toward those who have battled trauma, this unique marriage book will inspire you to surrender your life and your marriage to Jesus afresh."

Mary DeMuth, author of We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis

"As a celibate gay Christian and former anti-Christian gay activist, I once thought a marriage like Matt and Laurie's was a sheer impossibility. I now deeply admire this book, just as I do its authors. There is no distance between who I know them to be and what is written in these pages. Matt and Laurie's tenacious example and heart-wrenching journey of finding God's redemptive plan for marriage is a must-read not just for every Christian but especially for those who are entirely perplexed by the notion of a marriage like theirs. This book's brave authenticity reveals how marriage in and through Jesus as Lord becomes a glorious sign of hope not despite but through our beautiful and broken humanity. Matt and Laurie's refreshing resolve and conviction for biblical truth alongside their heartfelt identification with the LGBTQI+ community is a rare jewel that takes us beyond the worn debate that the question of sexuality invokes. An Impossible Marriage is not just a one-of-a-kind book on marriage; it's also a prophetic message that frees us from the idol of sex and marriage in and outside the church that has too long kept us bound from knowing the transformative power and ineffable goodness of the love and holiness of God."

David Bennett, speaker and author of A War of Loves

"In these raw and daring pages, we come face to face with the love of Jesus—a love that aches and bleeds and never lets go. This book is the story of a marriage, yes, but it's also the story of The Marriage between a divine Lover and the bride for whom he died. Whether you're single or married, straight or gay or anything else, there's something of the gospel for you here."

Gregory Coles, author of Single, Gay, Christian

Read an Excerpt


Prologue: It Is Impossible
1. What Do You Want?
2. A Half Step
3. Yesterday
4. The Purpose
5. Oneness, Even When We Marry the Wrong Person
6. The Awkward Middle
7. So Long, Shame
8. Warriors
9. Not Alone
10. A Gospel Picture
11. New Life

Study Guide


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Laurie Krieg

Laurie Krieg is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader whose mission is to teach the Church how to approach sexuality with the gospel. She also serves on the board of directors of the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Together, Laurie and her husband Matt host the Hole in My Heart podcast. They live with their three children in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Matt Krieg

Matt Krieg is a licensed professional counselor and director of counseling at Caring Well Counseling. Together, Matt his wife Laurie host the Hole in My Heart podcast. They live with their three children in Grand Rapids, Michigan.