How to Keep the Pastor You Love, By Jane A. Rubietta
How to Keep the Pastor You Love
  • Length: 191 pages
  • Published: June 11, 2002
  • Imprint: IVP
  • Item Code: 2319
  • ISBN: 9780830823192

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  • Who cares for your pastor in times of special need?
  • What can you do to help your pastor's family on a regular basis?
  • Are there steps you can take to ensure your pastor is personally and spiritually nurtured?

While Paul urges the church to "overwhelm them with appreciation and love" (1 Thessalonians 5:13), research and anecdotal evidence shows that most pastors experience little support when they need it the most. The result? One long-time pastor reports that he thinks about quitting the ministry as often as twice a week, and an estimated twenty-five percent of all ministers relocate every year.

In How to Keep the Pastor You Love Jane Rubietta explores the "flip side" of pastoral care--caring for your pastor. She breaks down the largely unexamined myth of the superhuman pastor. And she provides everything you need to know to build healthy, caring, mutually sustaining relationships among your church and its leaders.

Ministers and their families can profitably read the book along with lay leaders to become more aware of where they need the help and encouragement of their congregations. Questions at the end of each chapter guide pastoral families in reflecting on their own experiences--both positive and negative--of life in the church.

"For those of us who work with pastors, the evidence of crisis in the ministry hits us between the eyes. Jane Rubietta has contributed wise and practical helps for those lay leaders who are concerned about keeping the pastor they love. We wish we could put this book in the hands of every elder group, every session, every governing council as emergency intervention."

David and Karen Mains, co-directors of Mainstay Ministries

"A valuable tool to place in the hands of concerned church members and church officials, every pastor of every local church and each clergy spouse. I find the faithfulness of the author shining brightly all through the work."

Rev. Charles Chakour, pastor and author of Building Clergy Compensation

"For many years, we have seen an appropriate emphasis on church growth, but more recently attention has been given to church health. The well-being of the church and its leadership is an integral part of church health, and Jane Rubietta, writing from the perspective of a pastor?s wife, has valuable insight to share."

Jill Briscoe, author, speaker and editor of Just Between Us, a magazine for ministry wives

"If you love your pastor, read this book, and then put it into practice. And if you are looking for a pastor, before you do anything else, make sure everyone on the search committee reads How to Keep the Pastor You Love. It is a gift that will strengthen the body of Christ."

Dr. Ray Pritchard, senior pastor, Calvary Memorial Church, and author of An Anchor for the Soul

"Each chapter includes thought-provoking questions for the pastor. Several appendices are included: housing help, pastoral care resources, and questions to evaluate burnout."

Church Libraries, Fall 2009


1. A New Defination for "Pastoral Care"
2. The Welcome Mat
3. Communication in the Church
4. Beyond the Sunday Sermon
5. Stress Burnout
6. Single Clergy
7. The Paragon of the Pews (or, How to Really Love Your Pastor's Spouse)
8. Creating a Place for the Children
9. Ministry Church Accountability
10. Hearth Home
11. When the Ends Don't Meet
12. Building Better Clergy Compensation
13. Crisis Care
14. Great Goodbyes
Appendix A: How to Pray for Your Pastor
Appendix B: Bible Study on Loving Your Pastor
Appendix C: Sabbaticals Renewal Leaves
Appendix D: The Pastor's Bottom Line
Appendix E: Evaluating Burnout
Appendix F: Housing Help
Appendix G: So Long, Farewll . . .
Appendix H: Pastoral Care Resources
Works Cited


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Jane Rubietta

Based in the northwestern suburbs of Chicago, Jane Rubietta is a popular retreat speaker and the author of Quiet Places, Still Waters and Between Two Gardens (Bethany House), and How to Keep the Pastor You Love, Grace Points and Resting Place (InterVarsity Press). Her website is