Author Interview
Wayne Rice, author of There's a Teenager in My House
IVP: What is Understanding Your Teenager (UYT), and how is this organization helping parents to understand their teens?
Wayne Rice: We started out as part of Youth Specialties (1989) and eventually became a separate organization. Our mission is to provide encouragement, resources and help for parents of teenagers. We do this primarily with our seminars (about 150 per year) and our published resources and website. Our seminar team (who are also contributors to our new book) are some of the most respected names in youth ministry.
IVP: Which question about teens do you hear most often from parents?
Rice: Question: How can I motivate my teenager to . . . (fill in the blank: do homework, do chores, obey the rules, make wise decisions)?
How we respond: We explain that you can't control the internal (inner) motivation of a teenager--only their external motivation. And you can't use your parental power and authority as you once did. The best thing to do is use rewards and punishment (or better, consequences) to motivate teens to act in their own best interests. We give parents lots of ideas and guidelines for doing this effectively.
IVP: Why are the teen years such an especially trying time for many parents?
Rice: Because teens are seeking autonomy and independence from their parents (which is completely normal). That usually creates conflict and a lot of adjustment.
IVP: What do you hope parents take away from There's a Teenager in My House?
Rice: Hope, encouragement, ideas and a few principles that are common threads in all of our answers. The most important ones: First, they (parents) are the most important influence in their teenagers' lives. Second, it's important to stay connected to their teens and keep communication lines in good shape. Third, they shouldn't try to parent alone. That's why the church is so important, the youth ministry, and their relationship with God.