InterVarsity Press

Conversations: Times of Doubt

Jackie:

My brother is having a hard time with his faith. He is far more religiously active than I am, even though I consider myself a Christian,but he goes through periods where he heavily questions his faith. It scares me because it scares him so much. He gets depressed, defiant, sad, and antagonistic all at the same time. I don't know how to help him or what to say to him to alleviate some of the doubts he holds to so strongly. He's only 13, and I understand it's natural to question one's faith as a growing adolescent, but I would like to know what advice you would give him or what you could say to him to help him during this tough time. Thank you.

Ruth:

This situation with your brother is a difficult one—most specifically in relation to your brother's age. Most people who struggle so with doubts to the extent he is going through are much older, and it would then be easier for me to interact and speak of the excitement of having a faith that is balanced by doubt. I often quote poet Emily Dickinson who wrote to a friend, "we both believe and disbelieve a hundred times an hour, which keeps believing nimble." Doubt truly does keep believing nimble, but it's sometimes difficult to explain that to a 13-year-old who is depressed and sad. If I were a youth group leader I would be discussing this matter with the whole group. I would hope that he might be able to talk this out with a youth leader and some of his peers. He likewise needs to be assured that his faith doesn't depend on himself, but rather on the faithfulness of God. And God will always be faithful despite his doubts. I hope this helps. Thanks for writing.