InterVarsity Press

Conversations: What About Prayer?

Kay:

I am having a very hard time deciding what I believe about prayer. It is hard for me to understand why God would answer some people's prayers for healing, etc. and ignore others. I have come to the conclusion that the only things I can really ask God for are understanding, wisdom, strength, hope, and courage—but not for things like "please keep me safe on a trip," "please help me find a job," "please help this person overcome addiction." Instead of "please help this medical test come out negative," I can only pray "please help me to accept whatever happens."

A few weeks ago, my nephew went missing for a few hours, and my sister prayed, "Please God, don't take him away from me." I wanted to scream at her "God doesn't choose to take children away!"

In church recently, we prayed for one of our members who was sick in the hospital. For a few days, she improved, and one of the members gave thanks the next week at church and said, "June is better. Prayer works!" Then the next week, June died. So, does that mean prayer doesn't work? How do you reconcile that?

Ruth:

You've identified one of the most difficult matters Christians have wrestled with through the ages. Like so many before me, I don't have the answer. The foundational question is "Do our prayers change God's mind—or God's actions? Of course they do, many people would say, or why else would we pray? But experience shows us that some of our most fervent prayers are not answered.

Some years ago the husband of one of our seminary students was severely injured in an auto accident. The whole seminary community fervently prayed that he would be restored to health. Yet, he died. Did God determine that he should die while the woman in the ward next to him lived—even though there were no fervent prayers for her? We must be cautious about assuming God purposely did not grant the request of another Christian. In many ways you've answered your own question, and I will let readers contemplate your answer.